1.8

Things were going really well for Mulberry and I. I’d settled into my new home well, though it was much larger and nicer than the home I’d grown used to with Orchid the past few years. I bought some more seeds and got started on my garden again. I could have moved all the plants, but Orchid wanted to keep them, so I didn’t mind starting fresh. Now that I knew more about gardening, I could plant more advanced seeds.

 Mulberry is also an outdoorsy type, and he spends his days fishing while I tend to my garden and do whatever else. He normally catches a lot of fish and sells them to the local science facility. I don’t like to think about what might be happening to those poor creatures, but I can’t argue with the amount they pay for them.

 I make dinner before Mulberry gets home. I know it seems a little “sexist” that I’m the one making dinner and stuff, but I really don’t mind and he never told me that I had to. I just like to do nice things for him.

Mulberry and I eat dinner together every night and tell each other about our day. It’s so nice. My relationship with him is so different from the relationships that I grew up seeing. My dad and Blush only interacted when they were groping each other, and Orchid always fought with her boyfriends. It’s nice to have such a peaceful and happy relationship.

 We normally end the day by cuddling up and watching TV, or uhm… Doing things of a more “intimate” nature. Yeah, I still get really nervous and stuff but he always helps me through everything and I’m starting to become more comfortable with that stuff.

 Lately, though, I’ve been feeling really sick. I get sick in the morning, at night, in the middle of the day, when I’m asleep.. It doesn’t seem to have a set pattern, and it never lasts for long. I could feel Mulberry’s eyes on the back of my head when I jumped up from the couch feeling sick yet again.

“Are you alright?” His voice was laced with concern and…. Dread? I didn’t really have time to linger on it because I was busy high-tailing it to the bathroom.

 In my life, puking has always been something I’ve avoided like the plague. I seriously cannot stand to throw-up, and I can usually do things to prevent it… But this sickness is unlike any I’ve ever felt before.

When I’d finished disposing of dinner, Mulberry was no longer in the living-room. I found him in the bedroom, and settled down  next to him.

“Feel better?” He questioned, I could tell he wanted to sound like it was no big deal, but the fear in his voice betrayed them.

“Yeah, dear, I’m just fine. I’ve been thinking…” I trailed off. I really hadn’t planned on starting a family so soon, but well, sometimes things don’t go according to your plans.

“Go on.” There was definitely something wrong with him, he was never this short with me.

“What if I’m pregnant?” Secretly, I was sort of excited. I’d never exactly been overly excited about becoming a mother, and the birthing process was awful, but for some reason the idea was growing on me. I looked over at him, and watched as a frown tugged at his lips.

 “Moon, I really wouldn’t like that at all.. It’s a little too soon and uh… I dunno, you probably just have a stomach bug or something…” I felt my heart drop. I never wanted him to lie to me, but he could have chosen his words a little better. After all, it wasn’t just my fault.

 An awkward silence passed between us before I finally said, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

 A week later, the illness was still very persistent and maybe it was my imagination, but my stomach looked a little poochy.  Could women even show when they were only a month along, if I was even pregnant? I’d done my best to hide any puking from Mulberry. He’d been very sullen since our conversation, and the idea of being pregnant was a lot less favorable to me when my husband was so against it.

 In any case, one day while he was out fishing I dropped by the store and picked up a pregnancy test. It shouldn’t take a genius to guess what the results were, and I really wished I could feel happier about it… But the only thing I could feel was the dread of the conversation Mulberry and I would have to have when he got home.

 Not really knowing what else to do, I picked up my phone and called Orchid. Since I moved out, we didn’t see each other as often as I would like, but we were hardly distant at all. We texted each other every day.

“Orchid, is there any way you can come over today?” I tried to keep my voice calm, but even I could hear it shaking.

“Of course I can, we’ll talk about it when I get there.” I smiled despite myself. Orchid always seemed to know everything.

 I made my way downstairs and sat on the couch. My hands felt clammy, and my stomach was growling. I knew I should eat, for the baby’s sake, but it wasn’t like I could keep it down anyway.

 When Orchid arrived, she quickly pulled me into a hug. Orchid and I had been friends for so long it wouldn’t surprise me if she’d known something was wrong even before I called. I leaned into her, happy to have someone to confide in, someone who would be there for me.

“So what’s wrong?” She questioned, pulling herself away from me.

“Well…” I smiled despite myself, somehow it just slipped onto my face, “I’m pregnant.”

Her smile was so big that it made me feel a little sick, why couldn’t my husband feel that way?

“That’s great, Moony! Oh, I’m so excited!” I tried to smile at her, but it came out as a grimace. Her smile faltered a bit as well. “What?”

 “It’s so horrible!” I exclaimed, close to tears.  Orchid stepped back a bit, and the only explanation I could think of for the outburst were pregnancy hormones. “Mulberry doesn’t want a baby at all! We were talking about it the other night, and ever since he’s been all sulky and it’s so hard to take…”

Her eyes instantly filled with sympathy, “Oh, Moony, didn’t you know he didn’t want children before you married him?”

I glared at her a bit, “He never said anything of the sort! We’ve talked about it before, and he let on like it was a good idea, but now that I am pregnant I know he doesn’t want it.”

She was clearly at a loss for words, “Moony…. I…. Maybe he’ll come around.”

Her comfort was weak, but at least she was trying. I shrugged a bit.

“Try not to worry about it until you tell him. Let me feel that belly!” She laughed, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

 “I really don’t have a bump or anything..” I muttered, but I still allowed her to place a hand on my stomach. Okay, maybe I lied a bit, I do have a miniscule bump. Honestly, people probably wouldn’t notice even if I was naked  or something, but I noticed it… And I took precautions to hide it from Mulberry. That way he wouldn’t know until I was ready to tell him.

“Do you wanna stay for dinner?” I questioned. I honestly just didn’t want her to leave until after I’d told him.

She looked up at me, “Sure, but I’m not gonna be here when you tell him. If things get out of hand – which I doubt they will -, I will come and get you in a heartbeat. But I really don’t think my presence will help the situation.” I frowned at her, but I knew she would stand beside her decision.

 When Mulberry got home, I caught him at the door and pulled him into a kiss. I guess I sort of wanted to butter him up a bit. Maybe if he realized how much he loved me, the thought of having a baby wouldn’t seem so bad.

 “Someone’s feeling better.” He smiled at me for the first time in over a week, and the hope that flashed in his eyes caused me to feel more disappointed than ever.

“I guess. Orchid is here for dinner.” I turned away from him without another word, feeling angry.

 Dinner went  really well, Orchid and Mulberry got along great, and the conversation flowed easily. Unfortunately, I couldn’t feel happy. All I could feel was anger, disappointment, sadness, and dread. Is that really how a married woman should feel about being pregnant?

 After dinner, Orchid left, and it was time for me to make the revelation. My heart hammered in my chest as I walked up to him, stopping him on his way to the TV.

“Hey, we gotta talk.” I was still feeling angry from earlier, but right now I was so nervous I barely noticed it.

“Yeah?” His response was so casual it made me want to punch him, though I’m not sure why. This obviously wasn’t a catastrophic event for him yet.

“I took  a pregnancy test, it was positive.” I watched his face closely, he said nothing for several minutes.

Finally, he just frowned and looked away from me. His eyes were in a distant place, he was clearly remembering something.

“How could I let this happen?” The words were mumbled, I’m not even sure he knew he said them. I stood, feeling shock pulse through my body. I stared at him for a long time, but he never seemed to notice.

 “I guess I’ll make an appointment at the doctor to confirm everything..” My voice was low, I felt sadder than I had in a long time.

“Yeah…” His voice was clearer now, but when he looked at me it was with apprehension, it wasn’t the warm look I was used to. For the first time in many years, I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Moon.” His voice cracked a little, and he turned away from me, walking into the garage. When the door closed behind him, more tears spilled out of my eyes. I don’t know if it was because I’d held them back for so long, or because of the horrible pain that stabbed my heart, but soon I was sobbing so hard I could barely breath. I sank down to the floor, unsure of what my next move should be.